In the home, men and women work as equals, respecting their differing roles, to complete the work God gave them. The husband is the head of the home, but this doesn’t mean he’s the boss. It simply means he presides.

Elder Bruce C. Hafen, a church leader, and his wife, Marie, wrote an enlightening article on the roles of husbands and wives in a spiritually focused family:

“The concept of interdependent, equal partners is well-grounded in the doctrine of the restored gospel. Eve was Adam’s “help meet” (Genesis 2:18). The original Hebrew for meet means that Eve was adequate for, or equal to, Adam. She wasn’t his servant or his subordinate. And the Hebrew for help in “help meet” is ezer, a term meaning that Eve drew on heavenly powers when she supplied their marriage with the spiritual instincts uniquely available to women as a gender gift…”

 Genesis 3:16 states that Adam is to “rule over” Eve, but this doesn’t make Adam a dictator. A ruler can be a measuring tool that sets standards. Then Adam would live so that others may measure the rightness of their conduct by watching his. Being a ruler is not so much a privilege of power as an obligation to practice what a man preaches. Also, over in “rule over” uses the Hebrew bet, which means ruling with, not ruling over. If a man does exercise “dominion … in any degree of unrighteousness” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:37; emphasis added), God terminates that man’s authority  (Bruce C. Hafen and Marie K. Hafen, “Crossing Thresholds and Becoming Equal Partners,” Ensign, Aug 2007, 24-29).

The man is not the ruler of the house in the sense we often think of it. He presides over the home, which has an entirely different meaning than to rule. He and his wife work together to lead their children and make both spiritual and temporal decisions.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that gender and the roles that accompany gender were assigned prior to birth, and that we agreed to them before coming here. (The Church teaches that we all lived as spirits with our Father in Heaven before our birth. To learn more about this, please read, “You Lived With God.”) (off-site link)

LDS women don’t feel subjugated by God’s choice for their roles. They love caring for their homes and families and consider it every bit as important as earning money. Not everything of value comes with a price tag attached, at least not in an eternal world. Because the Church teaches that home is the center of God’s plan, having a critical role in the home is an honor.

LDS women are encouraged to remain in the home until their children are grown. Many do choose to work, however, or need to work, and no church penalties are enacted as a result. It’s a choice made by the family in consultation with God.

The women are, however, strongly advised to obtain educations that will allow them to take on a career should it become necessary. In addition, church work gives women opportunities to develop skills that carry over into the workforce, and women often take on outside volunteer projects or earn a little extra money from home. They’re encouraged to purse a life of independent learning. All of this ensures they are ready to enter the workforce should the time come. In the meantime, however, those with children are freed from the complications of trying to earn the paycheck and care for the children at the same time. They’re able to focus their primary attention on their children for those few years their children are young.

LDS women actually have far more opportunities to serve within their church than do women in most churches. This is a lay church, and everyone helps contribute to its success. The congregation is led by a priesthood holder, a man who is called the bishop. He is similar to a pastor, but works without pay, as does everyone else, and so must also have a career and care for his family while serving as the father of the ward (congregation).

However, the bishop doesn’t do everything himself. Many people, male and female, assist in the work. During services, the bishop or his counselors conduct the meeting, but prayers, music, and talks (sermons) are given by members of the congregation by invitation. In any given week, you will see women offering the opening or closing prayer or delivering the sermons. When the service ends, and people scatter to their various auxiliary classes, you will find women leading all around the building.

In a lay church, everyone has callings—volunteer church jobs assigned by the leaders. One place women lead is in the Relief Society. The Relief Society is an organization for the women of the Church, and it is always led by other women. The Relief Society president has tremendous responsibilities, responsible not only for the teaching of the women, but for most of the welfare needs of members, such as ensuring that families have enough to eat, that women who are ill have help caring for their families, and that women who live alone are checked on regularly.

In addition, the Relief Society oversees the literacy needs of all congregation members, teaching reading, helping people learn to speak the native language, and other literacy needs for both men and women.

Another place you might find women serving is with the children or the teenage girls. Women serve as the leaders in both organizations, and fill all the positions in the auxiliary for the girls. The children can be taught by either men or women, but are led by women, who oversee all teachers in the organization, including the male teachers. Women also teach in the Sunday School to both men and women. They can serve as missionaries and in many other church positions. There are some jobs they can’t hold, but there are also jobs men can’t hold.

Women lead in these auxiliaries all the way up to the church-wide level. Julie Beck, for instance, is over the General Relief Society, which means she has leadership responsibility for more than five million women all over the world, and it is true leadership with a large amount of autonomy. You can read more about her and those who lead with her in the article, “Relief Society Program Strengthens Mormon Women.”

Gordon B. Hinckley, a previous president of the Church, summed up the attitude of women leading in the Church when he spoke to the National Press Club: “People wonder what we do for our women. I will tell you what we do. We get out of their way and look with wonder at what they are accomplishing.”

Some people balk at the fact that Mormon women cannot be ordained to the Priesthood.  Studies show that outside the Church, even women who work full time are saddled with most of the household duties and child-raising responsibilities.  Mormon women do all these things, plus work in their communities, participate in humanitarian aid, involve themselves with schools and extra lessons for their children, fulfill callings in the Church, and somehow try to look after their own health and well-being.  Adding priesthood responsibilities to this load would be impossible to bear.  Ask the Mormon woman whose husband is called away at midnight to give a priesthood blessing to someone who’s ill, and see whether she feels like adding that to her busy schedule.

Find out more at Mormon Woman.org.